Moving On Part 05


Bright and early Friday morning we were at Esenköy. Not knowing what to expect, I was prepared for the worse. What I had not mentally prepared for was finding two carpenters dancing around whilst appearing to be stoned!

The kitchen was finished apart from the cupboard doors. The corner sofa in the living room had been assembled and my new bed constructed and manouvered into the far end, along with the sanitary fittings, new stove, paint containers, step ladders, tools, unused tiles and bags of grout. In the hallway, inch deep piles of sawdust mixed with offcuts of wood covered the entire floor. Tools, electric cables, odd screws and nails and plastic wrappers added to the mess. Every conceivable surface in the house was covered with a fine layer of wood dust. Adding to the general confusion was keş who I had bought over for the day and was snuffling around, rolling in dirt and thoroughly enjoying himself.

My bedroom door remained firmly shut and I was told on no account to enter. It was during this conversation that the reason Halil and Atkin were indeed 'High' became apparent. After laying the new floor in the early hours of the morning, they sanded, sealed and then varnished it. Unfortunately, having no windows in the room was not adequate ventilation and the result was two stoned men who had been inhaling all night.

Despite their state of feeling floaty and working all night, they were prepared to work all day on the proviso that lunch was provided. Promising to return with food, Recep and I drove into Fethiye. We had numerous tasks to perform which was to arrange the delivery later that day of the white (or in my case Chrome) goods, confirm that the cushions and mattress would be arriving late in the afternoon, tell Mehmet that he could now fix the worktop and to let Mr Testicles know that he was wanted. That done, we returned bearing Lahmacun.

By this time everything was running to plan perfectly. All the cupboard doors had been hung except for the sink unit which needed the marble worktop fitted first so the doors would hang straight. At the far end of the kitchen wall cupboards, where the fireplace juts out, a door had been hung to open to the left.

It was easy to access if you stood on the worktop, squashed into the far corner and somehow manage to bend down and place things on the worktop. This and a drawer that stuck were pointed out and rectified. Whenever the boys were still feeling ambient or just liked to do a job properly, every door was removed and re-hung. Likewise the drawers were all removed and re-constructed.

In between attempting to clear up behind the carpenters, paint around every window opening (inside and out) in preparation for the double-glazing the next day, the cushions and mattress arrived, followed closely by the white or chrome goods. I watched in amazement as one guy, no more than five foot five in his stockinged feet heaved the Fridge Freezer onto his back and tortoise fashion carried it up a flight of stairs.

The washing machine was slid into its allocated space under the worktop. The taps had not yet been fitted and I was told on no account to use anything until the necessary people had been and checked everything over. Unlike the UK, the service provided here is excellent. The goods are installed, a representative from the company calls round, makes sure everything is working ok and then signs and stamps your guarantee book. The cooker needed to be plugged into an electrical socket for the ignition and I somehow had overlooked this. Two hurried phone calls bought Mr Testicles and his friend to do the taps and Erdal the leccy to run a spur down for the cooker. He also installed the doorbell and outside security light which due to lack of street lighting and yours truly walking into a concrete pillar in the dark was a must have.

They say everything happens in threes, so Mehmet and Mustafa arriving with the worktop was only to be expected. Halil and Akin not being able to get into the kitchen to work, tackled all my interior doors. Yusuf had said that they would be replaced next year but none of them shut properly, the glass was cracked and the loo door needed to be re-hung to open outwards. I had bought new handles and whilst Halil planed away and adjusted the toilet door, Akin removed the old handles and screwed on new ones. This done, they packed up their tools and left.

I now had a fitted kitchen with four men working, a living room packed with furniture and cushions, a bedroom that was still forbidden to enter and a hallway which now apart from the carpenters mess and tools was home to the Cooker and Fridge Freezer. As I attempted to take control of the situation, some English friends arrived with their boyfriends and wanted tea! Two options when in a similar situation is to either completely flip which should be done correctly with choice swear words, a few tears and much foot stamping. The one I usually follow is to put the kettle on, light a ciggy (If you are a smoker) and let everything go over your head. Take my advice, this is the best choice if you wish to remain sane and keep your head. Whilst I chilled on the balcony, the uninvited guests attempted to view the house but soon left when they realized I was not going to entertain them. Mr Testicles and his friend connected up the plumbing in the kitchen and fitted the bathroom sink and shower. Mehmet and Mustafa installed the worktop (in two pieces) and the mantle piece.

Mehmet had now finished all his jobs and apart from paying extra for the sills and mantle shelf, which was the ridiculous price of seventy lira his estimate was spot on. My marble doorstep he threw in free of charge. I paid him the remaining half as is Turkish custom (half up front,half on completion) and dragging Mustafa with him (the silly boy was smitten) went merrily on his way.

The water boys finished up for the day and to my amazement promised to return the next afternoon to fit my chrome accessories. I was now left in the house, alone at last. Recep was away attending to matters of the romantic kind and I had some three hours to spare. I cleared up the mess in the hallway, stacked the wood lengths, tided the tools into a neat pile and removed the sawdust.

Being the independent creature that I am, I unwrapped the Fridge Freezer and pushed,pulled,wriggled it into the kitchen were I plugged it in. I had never seen the inside and was very pleased with the blue shelves, the little containers on the door, veggie rack and ice cube trays. I spent half and hour playing with my new toy and then remembered that the cooker was in the hallway still. Using the same method I dragged it into the kitchen and somehow ( sheer brute strength) managed to lift it up and into it's built in space. Feeling satisfied with myself I then realized that I had not connected up the gaz supply.

Grunting and groaning I pulled it forward and with a lot of strange actions on my part, managed to connect the gaz cylinder. Feeling I was on a roll, I walked over to the washing machine and opened the door. Having already told Recep that I was more than capable of plumbing in a bloody washing machine, I thought I would surprise him. It was me who got the surprise. I was expecting two hoses, a hot fill and a cold fill. I had insisted on two taps and now I only needed one. Most Turkish washing machines are cold water fill only. Huh, I never thought to check in the shop beforehand just assumed they would come with two pipes. Feeling deflated I made a final cup of tea which I took out onto the front balcony. As the day drew to a close, I looked across to the mountains in the distance and felt an inner peace. All was well.

MKC 24/03/2006
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Non Active Member
Re: Moving On Part 5

made my day i thought iwas the only one who had these prob had a good laugh u are always spot on keep them coming


Nadine in disguise
Re: Moving On Part 5

Nice story to read, quiete funny also
but about that washing machine how do you mean you expected a hot water fill and a cold water fill ???
Never seen that before......, isn't it always so that cold water comes into the machine and is heated then ?


Re: Moving On Part 5

No Sparrow,
In England we have a hot and a cold water fill.............or my machines did anyway! :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Senior Member
Re: Moving On Part 5

Well done Jen that was well worth the wait. Now Mushtaq has got me wondering ? what has been edited ? maybe you can PM me.

Be carefull Jen don't want to pull any muscles do we. :36:



Re: Moving On Part 5

Hi Andy! :lol:

Logged on early this morning and saw your post and I thought oooohhhhhh.....I didn' even notice that Mushy had edited it :kafa: But I found the original transcript (long hand and printed) checked to see if there were any swear words, sexual escapades :der: violence or filth and there wasn't!!!! I think Mushy either formatted or found a spilling booby! I actually get annoyed with the spell checker which is of course American and keeps telling me that I have spelt something wrong when I know I havn't :27: but whatever reason I didn't need to PM you with the 'Hot Stuff' sorry..........:lol:

Have just been in the field/garden and removed enough stones to build a wall with! I then attempted to dig a trench to plant my potatos, helped by four dogs who thought it was a game and dug holes, ran off with the spuds and only stopped when I turned the hosepipe on them! :lol: Goodness knows what the neighbours thought of me shouting and swearing in fluent English....but they are getting used to me. :der: So no pulled muscles Andy but I could do with a massage if you are offering! :)

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